Disconnecting; For Real This Time.


Yeah, I know, everyone has probably watched th Eddy burback video, everyone feels like they wanna throw their phone in the ocean. But man, it really did get me reflecting. I believe I was already thinking it before, how much this thing is really actually holding me back, but that video genuinely did really throw it in my face just how much. Looking back at how much I would aaccomplish without that stupid fucking brick. I think it has genuinely harmed more than it has helped.

I was just discussing with a friend all this, which is exactly what spurred me to get back and write this, but I can think of the exact time before and after the mass influx of smartphones. Throughout most my childhood, the iPhone has EXISTED, but it was a luxury item, and the only person I knew who had one was a jeweler in Santa Barbara, soooo...

But anywho, there were always flip phones for the most part growing up, but those just did not take up the real estate in time that a smartphone could. A flip phone addiction depended on you 1) having friends with phones 2) those firneds also be addicted and 3) (usually) a parent willing to pay for those messages. I bet even then, a "flipphone addiction" back then probably doesn't even compare and inch to AVERAGE phone use now, like not even what we consider "addicted" now.

But as I was saying, the exact transition from always having fun with my cousins when we would be over at my Noni's to sitting around doing nothing but scrolling our phones. When we get together now and reminisce on those days, we laugh and talk about riding bikes, making forts or games up, not that tie we sat around watching youtube videos or something. This thing is stealing time that could be memories. And with that, is tricking people into thinking they are "creating memories" becuase they took a picture of it. Which do I look more fondly on, the 1 or 2 poloroids I took at a birthday party, or the 100 photos I took on my iphone. Not to say I don't have iphone photos I treasure, laugh at, and send to my friends to reminesce on, but the over saturation of every moment starts to mean way less.

This is a tad all over the place, but it's a blog post, so that is bascially the point right? But;

When it comes to BEING CONNECTED; BEING ONLINE: this is the thing that anguishes me personally

I know its excuses excuses, "back in my day!" but it is different when you aren't the only piece of the puzzle, hear me out:

The blessing and the curse of always having my phone is that I always basically have an "emergency line" to reach my family and friends immediately. Somehow, the simultaneously qualms my anxieties and heightens them. I feel good becuase if there is any emergency with my family memeber, I can know right away and be able to head to their house, the hospital, etc etc...but with that, if I don't have that line on me, I immedately get the thought "what if they just called. What if grandma is in the hospital, and if I had gotten the call then, I would've been able to see her". Realistically, what can I do, what little bit of difference will it make. But its those anxious thoughts that get you. The "What Ifs". I've started to calm myself by thinking "Well if I don't have my phone, my partner has his phone, and they know they can call him too. He will let me know." Becuase if it was an actual real emergency, I would and could be contacted. People survived before, we will survive now.

While I cannot squash those anxities completely, I do have a function I could be utilizing more: the Do Not Disturb button.

I have this damn thing set to where when its on, the people who would be calling me during an emergency, can still call me! It blovks out literally everything else! So why don't I just use that more?!? Well I am trying to!

See I think the issue a lot of people have is that they try to go cold turkey on the phone cutoff. That may work for some poeple, but the averga person does have to rely on this thing on a daily basis in the #society we have created. And when you are already using it as a tool, it makes it so much easier to "just check twitter real quick" or "scroll on tiktok while i wait". I don't think the average person can go cold turkey, its addiction and it needs to be weened off of. And back to it being a tool, cos sure, there are other ways around, but let's be real, some mundane tasks you just wanna get done and the phone does it easy. See, I am not against the phone as a tool. I think that is great. It's the surpfulous stuff that is harming us. Yes here we are, we finally made it: Social Media.

This is actually what is rotting us. I know, hot take right? But when I had spare time, I used to be forced to either fill it up doing something productive, or just sit and think. Now it is just default, "scroll on tiktok" or some shit. I don't even give my brain the actual time to come p with something. If i don't feel like something productive in that moment ( drawing, reading, movie, guitar) then fuck it, guess its scroll time. I tell myself "guess my brain needs a break" and proceed to not actually give my brain a break AT ALL. Its awful. So i have set some rules for myself:

I'm bringing these rules into my life, and genuinely, already feeling the benefits. And the more time goes on and I STICK with it, the easier and easier it will get, and I will find my time to be mine again.

It is here I get to my next point, which is honsntly, where this all started to brew about in my head.

I look at all these artists of years pasts, and think "wow they just really seem like they were always creating and putting stuff out, I really need to get my shit together" and I make some lame excuse that "oh no, I'm depressed, it's hard." but what the fuck that didn't stop all these other people. And I say cos the lack of distraction. The amount of times I've sarted playing my guitar, want to record, get discourgaed, then get distracted by my phone, then I am more mad cos I REALLY did nothing.

I am sabotaging myself. I only have myself to blame. So only I can make the improvment towards getting my time back, and my mind back too essentially

My last point I'll make, which I really considered after I heard it said on some youtube video, I wish I could remember by who, but it was how, even back in the early internet days, when we were able to chat with eachother, when you walked away from that computer, you were AWAY. That was it. "Do Not Disturb" means quite literally nothing nowadays. We all now everyone IS availiable, they just have "notifications off". And most liekley they will check within the next 10 mins, becuase we all truly cannot be away.

I want to be able to say "Status: Away" and for that to be true.But that is way easier said than realistically done, especially for those of us with anxious brains, being further abused by what this phone wants you to think is good

So here I go, on a journey to be less connected and try to actually be "away from computer"


- HET!